The Fear of Goals

MaryKay's Surprise Weekend 025

The series “Fat Fridays” is based off of my new journey of couch to 5k for the Spring Girls on the Run on April 20, 2013. I am trying to raise 300 dollars for the local chapter of girls on the run, the donation link can be found here. While I am training for the 5k I am also self-reflecting using some of the themes from the GOTR biweekly lessons that the girls go through. I do not claim to be fat (although “Feeling Fat” -definitely) but I am taking the perceptions of myself in reflection to help compile this series.

I’m good at making up goals, thinking of the future, and working hard, but working for goals and setting goals isn’t the scary part. The scary part is that goals aren’t some equation that if you “plug and chug” A + B + C taaadaaahhh you have your goal! Goals are something you work your butt off to accomplish but they aren’t guaranteed. Because nothing in life is guaranteed.

Here’s the truth.

I am an avid giver-uper.

There. I said it.

Want proof?

Look at my Fat Friday posts. I think one was on a Friday.

Want proof?

Look at all my “challenges” posts.

I have a graveyard of goals that are just shriveling up and dying.

This 5k is starting to shrivel.

I need help.

I am scared. There I said it.

I’m scared that it’s never going to get easy. I’m scared because I’ve lost that feeling of “accomplishment” that happened after every run. Now I feel like there’s only so many more days and I’m behind and I’ll never get this done and I’ll never be any type of motivation for young girls.

I need help.

I’m feeling low. I’m feeling like what I’m doing doesn’t matter. I’m starting to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and I’m starting to remember all the reasons I can’t.

Would you like a list?

Reasons Tomato Can’t Run this 5k:

  1. She’s never been a runner. 
  2. Once she had to run the mile in elementary school and tried to convince a friend to break her leg instead of running it.
  3. She’s an avid giver-uper.
  4. She’s big.
  5. She’s out of shape. big time.
  6. She’s not a runner.

I need your help. I need some motivation and I’m in need of some support financially for the 5k. But most importantly I’m in need of someone not giving up on me.

– Tomato needs help.

There I said it.