Fat Fridays

Christmas 2012 029

The series “Fat Fridays” is based off of my new journey of couch to 5k for the Spring Girls on the Run on April 20, 2013. I am trying to raise 300 dollars for the local chapter of girls on the run, the donation link can be found here. While I am training for the 5k I am also self-reflecting using some of the themes from the GOTR biweekly lessons that the girls go through. I do not claim to be fat (although “Feeling Fat” -definitely) but I am taking the perceptions of myself in reflection to help compile this series.

I finished off the last Fat Friday talking about how I was measured and became a size DD bra and how I was jealous of every woman who can workout in a sports bra and a pair of shorts.

I reluctantly bought my bras from that time on. Only buying them in colors other than grandma-gray and when they were on sale. This required a lot of online shopping, but I was comfortable with my bras and was set for a few years until they – like many bras do – started to fall apart.

At this point in my life was knee deep in my women’s studies classes. I was working out to feel good about my body and I had a general understanding and acceptance for who I am. However it had been years since I was really “trying things on” I was buying things online and just making them fit or buying in sizes that I knew wouldn’t be a problem.

But I had come across a blog post about women who have to specialty order their bras. I didn’t have to specialty order my bras but I was so tired of my two color options and paying full price. The store is called Intimacy and if you’ve ever been around me you know I talk about it all the time. I suggest it for anyone who could use a good bra, either because you are looking for something specialty – wedding bras, strapless bras – or if you are struggling with size on either side, the “too” small, or the “too” large. Intimacy specializes in fitting women. I was sold.

I went 3 hours north and dragged my partner into the store. I wanted to find a bra that fit and made me feel good – this couldn’t be an mythical creature like the unicorn, surely a nice bra is made for people like me.

I stood in the room and waited for the sales representative to walk in.

She asked me to take off my t-shirt. I had on my cheetah bra that I had bought years earlier. It was my entrance into a DD and I figured the safest of all my buys. I spilled my story before I could even get the woman’s name. I was wearing a DD and I was unhappy with the fit, the colors, and the price.

She asked me to have some patience and see what she could do. She ran back into the sales floor and left me shirtless in a waiting room.

It turns out I was a size F. The sales associate told me for fabulous. I figured this was some type of ploy told women who weren’t the traditional ABCD size. At intimacy you shimmy into one bra and the next. After deciding I was an F the employee came back with literally an arm full of bras. And things I had never seen before, or things I had only seen in the store windows. I saw colors, and bows, and lace.

In fact the sales associate was right, I am a size F. For Fabulous. My new bras didn’t make me feel unwanted, or fat. I felt like I mattered. Please understand that I am a grown adult, I’m aloud to be sexy. But it never occurred to me that I would find myself beautiful, that I could look at myself and think I’m desirable just the way I am. It’s not that these bras are the only key to my beauty. No – It’s that these bras made me open my eyes. I saw myself as confident, strong, and totally beautiful.

What this store allowed me to do was be sexy. It told me that we have blue, and lace, and black, and bows and your size in stock. I was sexy.

Dude, seriously, I am sexy. So fat can be sexy. Skinny can be sexy. Disabled can be sexy. All colors are sexy. Short is sexy. Tall is sexy. It doesn’t matter if you don’t fit into one mold or for me the four traditional sizes. Sexy is confidence and everyone has the ability to be sexy, to be beautiful.

So what does all of this have to do with that teal sports bra that you are rocking under your workout shirt with slit arms? Sadly workout bras for women with large breasts are the furthest things from sexy. This is when purpose comes before looks. My sports bra is five hooks, grandma tan, and large straps. My breasts don’t hurt when I run but they are strapped in like an atomic bomb.

So I’m always jealous of women who can pull off a great teal workout bra. It’s always been a goal to just run in shorts and a bra. I think it’s because my tan bra is just a reminder of the changing room in JCP.

So what is it going to take? Are we going to let girls everywhere know that no matter what your size is you can be strong, beautiful and confident (and when the time comes – sexy) without the “approval” of a certain size, or a certain company? Can we teach girls to look inside themselves and see how great they are – how beautiful they are? Can we help them decide before I did at age 20? You can donate to my GOTR Soul Mates site above, or you can send a check.

And I did manage to run over break right before I got food poisoning. “Just Finished Week 2 – Day 3 (ran 2.85i with run pace of 10:02 min/mi)”

– Tomato totally rocks lace